Last Thursday, October 13th was my ten year “dateiversary” with my husband. First off, I’m pretty shocked that ten years have already went by since we’ve been a part of each other’s lives. (Does that mean we’re getting old?) Second, it really got me thinking about all of the things I’ve learned throughout our marriage and relationship. More specifically, I thought about all of the ways we manage to bring out the good in one another, but also how my husband has succeeded in being the one person who constantly helps me get through the biggest challenges and struggles in my life.
As someone who has a strong Type-A personality, it was clear to me from the beginning that we definitely fell under the category of “opposites attract”. I’m competitive, somewhat of a perfectionist, schedule oriented, a clean freak, and pretty much have always worn my heart on my sleeve. On the other hand, my husband is messy, a procrastinator, is an advocate of “go-with-the-flow”, and always seems like he couldn’t have a care in the world. While I could definitely live without the messy part, the fact that my husband has such a care-free, laid back attitude has always been very attractive and refreshing, as that’s something that definitely doesn’t come natural for me.
I’ll just be honest here and tell you that I’m a worrier by nature, and have been known to conjure up completely irrational thoughts and concerns on the sly. Sometimes I let anxiety get the best of me and get so stressed out over the tiniest things that I have no control over, and before I know it I’m in full blown panic mode to the point of tears. And in those moments, I’m so thankful that I have someone like my husband to remind me a. to breathe b. to eat a snickers if necessary (totally necessary sometimes because hangry is real) and c. to let it go.
Let It Go- My New Life Motto
Raise your hand if you’ve ever gotten stressed out about something that you shouldn’t be stressing over? If you are being honest with yourself that should be everyone who is reading this post right now. We all do it. We get stressed out over the silliest things- like the fact that the lady at McDonalds forgot to put ketchup in your bag, or the fact that your husband forgot to turn on the dishwasher this morning. Stuff that probably sounds completely ridiculous to someone else, but to you it’s 100% stressful. Because in that moment you couldn’t control the outcome.
But that’s the thing. As much as we’d love to, we cannot control everything in our lives. And we know that deep down, but yet we still find ourselves stressing over things that are outside our boundaries of control. So what can we do? It’s actually pretty simple- we can let it go.
I cannot even begin to tell you how many times in the last three years at my job I’ve wanted so badly to control situations that I had no say over whatsoever. I could probably write a dissertation on the amount of times I’ve came home feeling horrible about something that happened at work and letting the stress of a situation consume me, when in reality I should have just let it go. We all sit around and worry ourselves silly with something going on that we have no horse in the race for, when it shouldn’t be our concern.
And trust me when I tell you that this reality has not been an easy lesson for me to learn, nor is the lesson over. It’s going to be a continuous journey of reminding myself to stop and breathe, and let it go. To tell myself that whatever it is, isn’t my circus nor my monkeys, and to let it go.
Because when we let go of all that stress, and all that worry and negativity, only then can we really focus on the good in our lives and find happiness.
I hope today’s post resonated with someone, somewhere, and I hope that it served as a reminder to worry less, and live life more.
Do you practice this motto in your daily life? What are your de-stressors?
Thanks for stopping by!-Cara
Linking up with What’s Happening Wednesday
Agree with this 100%!!! There are times where I stress over very simple silly stuff. It drives me crazy when some things do not go my way or some things change at the drop of a hat. I have learned to try to not stress over the small things. It’s not always easy but it does make life a little less stressful.
I agree. It’s not an easy adjustment to make, but so worth it when you are less stressed in the end.
Such a great life motto and this whole post really was a great reminder for me. I am naturally an anxious person and tend to let even the little things get to me. It’s definitely important to know when to let things go and just “chill,” which I need to do more of! Haha. Hope you’re having a fab weekend! xo, sharon
Really wise words! Much of our fear comes from worrying about things outside of our control that rarely even happen!
Exactly Tiffany! The sooner we realize that we can’t control everything, the better! Thanks for commenting! 🙂
I’m trying to do a better job with this too. I just bought a journal to try and remind myself that it’s going to be okay if I can’t control everything… so when I get overwhelmed I try and write down all the things that are going good and try to fixate on that instead.
That’s a great idea, Sara! I like that and may have to “borrow” it. 😉 Glad you enjoyed the post!
My husband and I are exactly the same way. I’m the “by-the-books” type of girl, organized, extremely scheduled oriented, a neat freak, a major perfectionist, and somewhat of an introvert. My husband is the complete opposite. He lives life with no agenda, super laid back, care-free, and a social butterfly. I think the reason why we’ve been together for so long is because we complement and balance each other. This is a great post. I honestly related to it. Thanks for sharing!
Thanks Karina! I’m so glad you enjoyed it! It’s good to find that person who balances you out! 🙂
Isn’t that the best feeling? It’s so freeing! I need to practice it more often.
Yes it is! I’ve recently started doing some yoga breathing exercises too, which has helped a ton. 🙂
This was a great read As someone engaged to be married in August I really enjoyed reading the wisdom from somebody a few years in to their marriage!
Thanks Bree! I think the key to a strong marriage is to always communicate with one another and remember that it’s a journey not a race. 🙂 Congratulations!
One thing I have a problem with is letting go of control! I tried to do a role reversal night with my husband. I normally cook and he will make his lunch for the next day and finish cleaning the kitchen. So the one night we switch, I am all about helping him… not mess it up… oops! haha! I also stress a lot more than I should, but since I have decluttered, the stress has been a lot easier to manage.
Yes, I’m the same way! My husband will offer to fold clothes, and I find myself going back over what he has already did to ensure it was folded correctly…so silly! Definitely something I’m working on improving.
My husband often turns to me and says “LIG” that is our short form of Let It Go! Funny, huh?
Aw I love that! 🙂
That’s a great motto— something that I have also been trying to incorporate in my life and attitude (being a pro-worrier)
— DT | Here I Scribble
Thanks! It’s good to be mindful of that.
I am definitely more of an A-type so I can identify with your feelings about wanting to have control. I’ve learned that if I want to enjoy my life and my kids more, I have to let go of the little things. My brother in law is fond of asking the question, “Is it going to matter in 1000 years?” and while I know that not everything is on that big of a scale, just asking myself that question helps me calm down.
That’s great advice, Shani! It’s so important to realize that we don’t have to be in control of everything.
I needed this today. I got some fabulous news yesterday. My first novel, Sketchy Tacos, is going to be published on February 7th. I jumped up and down, did a little dance, and then set down to totally freak out. The launch is less than sixteen weeks away and I have SO MUCH TO DO before then. Starting with kicking off a newsletter, which I had never done before, moving in to writing and publishing two short stories before to build hype, writing the next novel (which I was just told yesterday is supposed to come out 3-4 month after the first!?!?), lining up… blah, blah, blah and the list goes on for at least a mile. It’s a totally wonderful thing, but also a totally stressful thing. But this is a great reminder to take a few deep breaths and let go of the stress. I’ve got a lot of stuff to do and I don’t have time for freak out. Also, I really need my sleep, and stress totally robs me of that. Sorry, didn’t mean to rant, but this really resonated with me. Thank you for sharing.
You’re so welcome, and congratulations! That is an amazing accomplishment! Try making a list of everything, and then tackling it one thing at a time. That helps me calm down too. Again congrats!
Congrats on the ten years!! The new motto is awesome! I’m also a totally worrier and my husband is a let it go person, it’s a good motto to have but so hard to put into practice!
Thank-you! Definitely working on practicing it more and more everyday!
Well now I’m singing Frozen. 😉 But yes, absolutely, let it go! I say that all the time! There are very few things that actually deserve my concern, but most of the time, I just need to get the heck out of there. Haha 🙂
Hahaha, you know that song never even occurred to me until now! But that’s funny lol.
Girl I’m so with you on this one! It can be hard as a type A person, but important to not let things out of your control consume your life.
I agree! Thanks for commenting, Shane!
I relate to a lot of this! My husband is more likely to “go with the flow” and not worry and stress, while I feel a need to plan, be organized, and prepare for what MIGHT happen. I do think that “better safe than sorry” is a good idea sometimes.
I agree. It’s good to be prepared, but sometimes spontaneity can be good. I used to be ridiculous about not wanting to do something if it wasn’t on my planner/calendar. I mean how crazy is that? lol Thankfully I’ve gotten a lot better!
So true. Sometimes when you’re stressed, the best thing you can do is embrace the chaos and let it go. Worry and negativity never do us any good.
Exactly, Sarah. Great advice!
Congrats on 10 years! I so realte to this, I need to remember to take a step back and breathe sometimes!
Greta | http://www.gretahollar.com
Thank-you! It’s something I have to continually remind myself of!
Hi Cara, Such lovely post. I think that’s a wonderful life motto! Absolutely…love it ;))
Oh, btw…I’ve found your lovely blog via Susannah’s blog.
Thanks Aldy! So glad to have you here! Glad you enjoyed the post 🙂
I can hold onto grudges forever. It’s really hard for me to let anything go but I’m really going to try because the older I get the more I realize we only have one life to live and I don’t want to be angry at people or stressed all the time. I want to live a happy life especially with my tell it like it is non emotional boyfriend. I’m like you…I too wear my heart on my sleeve. Great post ?
Thanks Melanie! Glad you can relate to this. It’s good to have support from our significant others too!
I love everything about this! I’m the type of person that keeps all that stress inside, but I know it’s so much better to do as you say and breathe and let it go. Also, my husband and I are just a couple months away from our ten year dateiversary, too! It kinda does make me feel a little old. 🙂
Thank-you! Haha, we started dating when I was 16, so it is crazy to think about the fact we’ve been together for a decade. Congrats to you and your husband as well!
Now a days, there’s just so much stress in our lives and ‘Let it go’ should really be an international anthem! Great post! 🙂
I agree! We all need to be mindful of it more often. Thank-you!
Good Post. Your Mommy is always telling me to let things go and don’t worry so much. I think the biggest thing that has kept me in check is your Mommy and my faith in Jesus. Love you Cara. Daddy! ..
You will always be my Tinker Bear.
Thanks. Love you too
I think that’s a great life motto. I’m also a huge worrier by nature, and luckily, my husband is also the opposite too. I’ve become better at letting things go, but I still hang onto a lot. This is a great reminder to all of us to not stress about the small stuff or things we have no control over.
Thanks Shann. It’s good that we’re fortunate enough to have those people in our lives who help balance us out. 🙂
I really try to practice this!! I usually dance or exercise to de-stress!
That’s a great idea!
Wonderful! Letting go isn’t easy but so liberating! Great motto!
Thanks Chrissy! 🙂
Letting go is NOT easy for me at all. It takes a lot of work for my to let go of a thought. I find it is easier for me if I get distracted by something else that I can easily let go a thought or belief or situation.
Healthy distractions are good too. Finding an activity that brings you joy can help you release all that stress and worry. Great advice!
I tend to worry too much as well. During those times, I just try to remember how things have always worked out in the past. I also try to look at what is really important. I am dealing with some stressful things this week in fact. But I have decided to focus on things that make me happy so that I am not so stressed.
Yes. Looking at things at a priority standpoint definitely helps. It’s really not that big of a deal if I don’t get my kitchen spotless tonight lol. Great advice!
So, so true! Sometimes it’s super hard to just let it go, but in the end it’s what is best for our mental health!
Absolutely! We will wear down real quick if we don’t. I’m truly trying to live by this more.
This was such a great post. I am very much like you in the sense that I stress big time over EVERYTHING and am more of a worry wart. My boyfriend is laid back, procrastinator, messy lol, and like your husband, tries to remind (probably several time a week) to relax, that I can’t control everything in my life, and things will be ok. Sometimes its a good feeling to know that others struggle the same way as you. I really really wish I didn’t stress and worry so much..its just so hard when your brain is hard wired that way!
Thank-you! It is. I tell my husband and friends all the time if there was an off button I could push for my brain sometimes, I definitely would. It’s tiring to always be worried about this and that. So I’m definitely going to try to “Let it go” more. Glad you can relate! 🙂
This is such a great post for every season of life! Thanks for sharing your heart. I completly agree with you.
Thank-you Emilee! I appreciate that!
Raising BOTH hands! Girl, you and I are so alike! My husband is so carefree and laid back, while I on the other hand, stress over NOTHING and EVERYTHING! LOL!
Beauty With Lily
Lol, I’m so glad at least someone else out there can relate to this. It’s ridiculous the things I worry over sometimes. lol But having that support and reminders from our spouses really helps!
Absolutely agree. It’s so important to find the one that balances us and it sounds like you did just that. And we have to remember that there is only so much we can control in life.
I agree Jesi! That’s absolutely true, we can’t control everything.
I worry about worrying… I get that.
The bad thing, my hubs is the same way … & we feed into each others anxiety. So it is really a blessing you have someone who reminds you to calm down.
It really is nice. Learning to take a deep breath and let go of the stress is so crucial in having less anxiety in my life.
i have to say that getting older has helped me understand many things; mostly of how to be mindful in life. i wrote a post about that the other day but it’s true – when you are mindful of your life/what is going on around you, you’re able to focus better and identify what is important vs what is just noise, allowing you to filter out the nonsense.
Just read your post, it was awesome! I definitely agree that being mindful is so important, and it’s crucial to take the time to reflect.
THIS! I’m there with you girl. I am a planner, and all about the tiniest of details. I’m learning (especially with my 4 year old) that the best times we have had together as a family are ones that are spontaneous or things didn’t go “exactly” as I planned in my crazy, Pinterest mind. Lol!
So glad you can relate to this! Yes, sometimes I feel like Pinterest is the devil lol because it puts all these unrealistic ideas/expectations in our heads. I’m learning with kids to just live and let go more and to be more spontaneous. But it doesn’t come natural and it’s something I have to remind myself of. 🙂
Great post!! I totally get stressed over the littlest things. I have been working on letting things go but it is not easy for me. Constantly working on letting things go and not get upset over things I cannot control.
Thanks Marie! It’s a daily reminder for me and something that I have to keep working on. But I think it’s a must, because stress can be so toxic if we let it.
I bet a lot of women will need this! I know I stress about the little things all the time, especially because my husband and I are polar opposites too 🙂
It’s so silly the things I get stressed out over, so I’m really trying to be more mindful of what really matters.
Raising my hand for sure! Thanks for sharing this!
So glad you can relate!
Hi Cara, I just found your blog and I’m loving it so far. Great design! I’ve been thinking about making a post similar to this one for a while. Negativity and stress can be so daunting, and they can really take over your life. I’ve learned to “Let it go” as well, and it’s changed so much about my life, all for the better. Because you’re so right: Not our circus, not our monkeys. Great post!
Amanda | awaywerun.com
Hi Amanda! Thanks so much for stopping by! I’m glad you enjoyed my post, and I’m glad that you’ve found ways to balance out the stress in your life. It definitely can be toxic if you let it consume you, so learning to let it go is a must. Hope you’ll stop by in the future! 🙂
Love it! I can totally relate. This is so true, I have learned to let go on those things I cannot control .
Thank-you! I think that’s great that you’ve been able to find a good balance. I’m working on it! 😉
I’m exactly the same way!! I stress over the littlest things! My hubby is always trying to chill me out and tell me not to worry so much it will all work out! I totally need to take a deep breath some days! Great post I definitely relate girl!
It helps having that person in our life who can remind us to not worry so much and to let it go. We all need that sometimes. 🙂
GIRL YES. I could have written this word for word. Such a good life motto!
Thanks Chelsea! Stress can consume us if we let it, but learning to let it go is key. 🙂
I think we are all guilty of stressing over something we don’t need to! I think especially us ladies! I’m trying myself to live more go with the flow and it is working for me. Though now I’m wondering if I turned on the dishwasher this morning 😉
Haha sorry about that! You’re exactly right though, it is so important to just go with the flow and live by the “it is what it is” motto. Thanks for commenting!
I totally get myself stressed over small or seemingly silly things and have total anxiety sometimes. I think that is the great thing about marriage though. You get to do life with this other person that helps balance you out. 🙂
Exactly! And the whole opposite thing really does work, because I seriously can’t imagine being married to another “me” lol. I’d drive myself nuts! 😉
I’m exactly like you, and have been learning to incorporate this motto into my own life more and more frequently. It started with some less than savory individuals in my life, and I’ve translated it into my work stuff too. Because sometimes I can get super stressed out and it doesn’t do me any good. My husband is also a great reminder of this as he’s definitely a “let it slide off your back” kind of guy as well.
I think it’s good that we both have those strong supporters in our life who can gently remind us to let it go. Stress can be so toxic if you let it get to you, so I’m glad to hear that you’re working on incorporating this as well. I’m right there with ya! 🙂
I’m raising my hand high. Love your husband tells you to breath, eat a snickers and let it go. Congratulations of finding the one 10 years ago.
Thanks Candy! Haha he always teases me that the snickers commercial were made about me! 😉 lol