Today is mine and my husband’s 8 year wedding anniversary, so I wanted to share a special post in honor of that. It’s kind of hard to believe it has been that many years since we said “I do”, because in so many ways it feels like it was just yesterday that we exchanged our vows. But in the last 8 years of marriage, I’ve definitely learned a lot, so today I wanted to share 5 important lessons that I’ve learned from marriage over the years.
5 Things I’ve Learned From Marriage
Full disclaimer, I love my husband more than anything and I truly couldn’t live without him in my life. But, like most of us out there I initially had some false images in my head of what marriage was going to be like. I also might add that the first few years of marriage were a little bumpy simply because learning the in’s and out’s of your better half is always a surprise in itself. But if there’s one thing that I know and hold to be true with marriage, it’s that you have to constantly work at it- together.
Spending Time Together is Crucial
Even after the honeymoon phase is over, spending time together on a regular basis is so important. It’s even more important when you have kids, as a strong marriage is the foundation of a loving family. It doesn’t necessarily have to be a “date night”, but can be something as simple as watching a movie on the couch or cooking a meal together. The key here is that you’re doing something “together” and that it’s quality time. My husband and I don’t get to see each other very often due to his police schedule, but when we do we try to make the most of it by putting other tasks aside and making “us” time a priority.
It’s Not About Winning or Losing
My husband and I are both pretty competitive by nature, so needless to say arguments have always been fun. Initially, we both wanted to be right or wrong on something, but we quickly realized that marriage simply doesn’t work that way. It isn’t about who is right and who is wrong, but rather it’s about learning to work through disagreements in a calm, mature manner, and not worrying about who gets the final say. When arguments happen, it’s important to openly communicate with one another and work through the disagreement right then and there, instead of holding grudges and letting it manifest into a week long argument. In the end, it’s a partnership and you only truly win if you’re both happy.
Support One Another
Marriage is all about supporting one another and building that foundation of trust. At the end of the day my husband is my best friend and I confide in him with everything that is going on in my life, and vice-versa. When he has a rough day, I’m there to help him sort through it. When I’m at my wits end, he’s always the one who helps me calm down and figure things out. Having that person who fully supports you in all areas of your life is golden, and that trust and support is what really keeps a marriage strong.
Remember the Little Things
My husband and I might be a little different from other couples, but we personally don’t go hog wild and crazy in buying each other fancy gifts for every occasion. That’s not to say that we don’t ever buy each other gifts, but we like doing small, special sentiments for one another. My husband loves it when I cook him his favorite meal, and I’m like a kid again if he picks me up my favorite kind of ice cream at random. Even the smaller things like when he records me a special show on TV (i.e. cheesy Hallmark movies) or leaves me a sweet note on the counter, is something that really just makes me love him that much more. It really is the little things in life.
Always Stay Young at Heart
Last but certainly not least, one of the most important lessons I’ve learned is to never stray from the reasons you fell in love with one another. My husband’s sense of humor and ability to always make me smile even on my worst days is something that I never want to lose sight of. Remembering to always stay young at heart and to have spontaneity in the relationship is so important. We recently “re-created” one of our first dates and it was a lot of fun to sit and talk about how far we’ve come over the years and to rejoice in the fact that we’re still just as crazy over one another as we were back then.
Although marriage is a lot of work, it’s a truly wonderful thing and I’m happy to have found my perfect partner to spend my life with. I hope you enjoyed today’s post, and hope you have a great week ahead.
If you’re married let me know in the comments what lessons you’ve learned over the years! How many years of marriage have you celebrated with your significant other?
Thanks for stopping by!-Cara