Life Happens- Why I’m Not Apologizing
In case you didn’t notice, I haven’t been on the blog as much lately.
I took a week off due to an overwhelming work load with my full-time job, and then an Emergency Room visit with our youngest son paired with a sick puppy having to be rushed to the Vet early last week led to yet another missed blog post on Wednesday. (Both are fine, by the way)
But you know what? It’s okay.
Yes, I’ll say it again- it’s OKAY.
The world didn’t suddenly stop spinning because I didn’t manage to get my two blog posts up for the last two weeks, and life as we know it didn’t end.
Did I beat myself up over it? Absolutely.
Why? Because I’m a struggling perfectionist who thinks everything has to be on point, all the time, and there’s no room for error.
But how completely crazy is that?
Life happens, ya’ll.
It happens, every single day, no matter how much we plan things out and over analyze and articulate- life happens, and you just have to roll with it.
Life Happens – Why I’m Not Apologizing
To be honest, this very situation really got me thinking about society as a whole and how we put so much pressure on ourselves and even one another.
I’ve noticed that on days where we’re not feeling our best or life has really taken a toll on us, we end up apologizing.
But why should we apologize for being human?
We are all human, we all make mistakes, things happen, and it’s crazy that we’ve set the bar so high up there, that we think we need to be on our A-game 24/7.
I can’t begin to tell you how many times I went back and forth with even writing this post and sharing it with you all, simply because that silly little voice in my head kept saying- “nobody wants to hear about your struggles, they just want to hear about all the good things in your life.”
And if that’s true, well I’m sorry to disappoint you, but I’m not perfect and my life most certainly isn’t either.
Do I have a beautiful family whom I love with my whole heart?
Do I have a job that I’m very thankful for?
Do I have a roof over my head, food on my table, and more clothes and makeup than necessary.
Yes, yes, and double yes.
But are there days where I come home from a ridiculously long day of work, have zero patience, and the puppy proceeds to mess with everything he can get his paws on, the kids are running around screaming at the highest decibel humanly possible, and the only thing I have the energy to “cook” is a peanut butter sandwich, to which I then realize we have no bread for?
Yep. Days like those happen all.the.time.
I think we all get it in our heads that all of these people we follow along with online have such perfect, pretty lives, but here’s the thing- they’re only showing you the “highlights”.
They’re showing you the cute outfit, the makeup selfie, or the snapshots of being on vacation with the family, but they’re not showing you the huge fight they just had with their husband, the piles of laundry stacked a mile high, or the burnt cookies.
Because if they did, then maybe you wouldn’t feel so bad about those things in your own life.
Maybe if you knew that the rest of the world has issues just like you, you wouldn’t beat yourself up so much.
So that’s exactly why I’m sharing this today.
I want you to know that I’m not perfect, I struggle to balance it all, I struggle to keep everything together, and there’s days where I just want to hide under the covers and stay in my warm bed.
I’m not everyone’s cup of tea, and that’s okay.
I never started this blog to paint a fake image of my life, or to try to make people think I’m perfect.
I started this blog because I knew that at the end of the day there are so many individuals in this world who struggle and deal with the same issues that I do, and that if we all just look out for one another and support each other, that maybe it’ll all be okay in the end.
Maybe instead of striving for unattainable perfection, we should be celebrating the small things and learning to love the little imperfections in our world.
The days where my kids and the puppy drive me up the wall?
Those days are fleeting, and I can guarantee you I’ll miss them a few years from now. (Plus, it gives me a level of entertainment you just can’t find anywhere else in the world.)
The days where people at work make you want to pull your hair out?
Let’s learn to laugh at those days instead of bottling it up inside and getting stressed.
Because laughter and love truly are the best medicines for us.
So if you ever feel like you’re all alone out there in struggling to stay afloat and in having all your stuff together, trust me when I say that I’m right there with you wholeheartedly.
No matter what you see on people’s social media feeds or what people try to let on about their “perfect” lives, we are all human.
We all fall down, we all make messes, and we all have crazy lives, but let’s stop apologizing for it and pretending that it’s something it isn’t.
So I wanna know- what have you been struggling with lately? Have you had a crazy day, week, or month? Share it with me and let’s learn to love our crazy, beautiful lives.
Thanks for stopping by!-Cara
Great job for taking care of yourself and your family first. I am also a perfectionist and it’s so hard when life gets messy. I want things to go as planned so I can totally relate to this post. Thanks for the reminder that we all need a little more grace, flexibility and reality because no one is perfect 🙂
Thanks Whitney! Glad you can relate to this. Have a great weekend!
I’m so sorry you had such a tough couple of weeks! Glad you all made it through… Looking forward to seeing posts on the blog!!
xo, Jessica || The Petite Diaries
Thank-you! Everyone is great now, thankfully. Have a great weekend!
Aw Cara, I’m so glad everyone is alright. Trust me, I know exactly what you mean, and I think it is so important we all make that clear to one another. Life is not perfect, and life is messy, but making the most of what we have and finding happiness in our normal is what is key.
Thank-you! Everyone is doing great, thankfully and at the end of the day that matters most. Have a great weekend, friend!
I agree that blogging and social media only portrays one small portion of someone’s life. It’s easy to envy someone’s life when all you are seeing are the fun and glamorous things. Thanks for sharing your real life daily struggles with us. They are pretty normal for a working mom! Blogging is something that I do to get away from my life issues. Last year, I got divorced from someone that I was with for 12 years of my life. Even though we haven’t been together for almost 2 years and I have a sweet and supportive boyfriend, I am STILL trying to move on from such a sad and traumatizing event in my life. Moving on from what I have been through emotionally has been the hardest part but I know that I am taking the right steps. Like you said, everyone is human and has their good and bad days. This is what I struggle with on a regular basis! And of course trying to plan out my future so hard instead of just letting things happen.
Wow, I can only imagine how difficult that must have been. I’ve been with my husband over a decade now and to think of what it’d be like if suddenly we ended things, it would be hard. Even if it’s a bad ending, that person becomes such a huge part of your life that when they aren’t part of it anymore, it’s difficult. Hope things are starting to get better for you on that front and I’m glad you’ve found someone else that makes you happy. At the end of the day we can’t worry about things beyond our control and need to learn to give ourselves grace. Have a great weekend, friend!
Yeah, def not easy lol It was the biggest shock of my life to date but yes things are getting better for me. Thanks! you too!
oh my gracious! I love that quote! This is so true – it’s all going to be okay and we just have to give ourselves some grace!
That quote is spot on, right?! Giving ourselves grace is a must!
Oh sweet girl, you’ve definitely had a rough week! I’m glad your kiddo and pup are doing well now.
It’s hard not to beat ourselves up when we are perfectionist and don’t get things up when planned. It’s definitely okay to take time for what matters most.
Beauty With Lily
Thanks Lily! I’m learning with time that I can’t worry myself over things beyond my control. Have a great weekend, friend!
Thank you for writing this and I love it that you’re being honest and open about writing this. Like many have said already I also over apologize when life happens. It like one time when i drunk too much at my mother in law house (don’t ask) and I threw up everywhere. I kept apologizing and I felt really bad (not to mention so embarrassed!) but it happen and you learned not to do that again – so move on.
Thanks Anna! Exactly- the past is the past, and the learning process is what’s important. 🙂
Girllllll yes to all of this! I over apologize too when life happens, and as time has gone on I’ve learned that it’s more than ok if blogging just doesn’t happen. I feel so much more relaxed and free when I just let it go, and love my new schedule of 2-3 days per week instead of 4-5. The un-needed stress was no joke! So glad everyone’s ok after a few emergencies, sending all the hugs <3
Thank-you Kate! Absolutely, there’s no need to ever apologize for things that happen in our lives that are beyond our control. Happy Weekend, friend!
Love this post Cara! I am a recovering perfectionist too and practice owning where I am at a lot and letting go of everything else.
Thanks Rachel! It’s a daily struggle, but it’s so important to learn to find that balance in it all.
I don’t feel like I struggle with the comparison game, but I do struggle with finding balance… and so I love reading blogs that seem to have that figured out – but I also love blogs like this one – the ones that keep it completely real but still acknowledge their gratitude and privilege… As for me, I’ve been struggling with keeping up with everything. I feel like I’ve been more frustrated than usual with my staff, which means I’ve been taking it out on my husband… and I don’t think it’s that people aren’t trying – I think I’ve just been letting my stress level get the best of me. I’m trying to refocus on the things I love and be grateful for all the amazing little moments that I’ve been able to experience lately.
Thanks Sara. When we get so stressed out, it’s easy to lose sight of the things that are truly important and instead fixate on things we shouldn’t. I hope things calm down for you soon and hope you have a nice, relaxing weekend to re-charge. 🙂
I’m so glad you shared this. I feel like I have a more laid back blogging schedule attitude and feel like sometimes others might not understand where I’m coming from. I miss blog posts all the time and made the decision a while back that life goes on and my family will always come first. If I loose a few followers or don’t have as many likes on an instagram post because of this, than those people were never meant to come along on this journey with me. Ok, that’s my rant lol. And yes, we constantly have crazy days and random dinners, we’re on chicken nuggets twice already and it’s only Monday. I’m so glad to hear your little guy is ok and your pup too <3 Beautifully Candid
I agree with you 100%! And glad we’re not the only ones who have chicken nugget, peanut butter sandwich dinners lol.
Thanks for this! I honestly feel so much pressure when I fall out of sync with my blogging schedule. Like, OMG I didn’t post, end of the world. So, I try to catch myself and just embrace the chaos, it’s beautiful.
You’re welcome, and exactly! Life is a beautiful mess, and that’s okay. 🙂
This is such a refreshing perspective. I’m also a struggling perfectionist. I recently broke up with my bf and it took a toll on me and it was really hard to focus on my blog, so I took some time off from my blog. At first I was hesitate, but it was the best decision.
Thank-you! And to know that it’s okay to take breaks when needed. We all need them!
Glad to hear the dog and kid are ok 🙂 I so get this! Life gets crazy all the time and we definitely need to cut ourselves some slack!
Everyone is great, thank-you! 🙂
Girl yes to all of this!!! I took over a week’s break recently from blogging and then once I got back…I only did one post last week. I have been so exhausted with work lately that I just have no energy to do much of anything lately. It happens to the best of us. We are all human and sometimes we just need a break. Life happens and like you said, it’s okay! You never come off fake on your blog,etc. This is why on my blog I do my weekly confessions because sometimes I just need to get some things out there. We all have struggles. So keep doing you girl! So glad everyone is okay!
Thank you so much Mistle! You’re the sweetest! Hope things settle down for you soon too!
I too am a perfectionist and I definitely struggle with beating myself up when life happens. I was recently dealing with a cold that just would not go away! It’s nice to be reminded that I’m not alone and that It’s OK!
Glad to hear you’re feeling better! 🙂
OH man I hear ya…I meant to blog while I was on vacation, but decided, nope, not going to do it, just going to enjoy it and so I’ll miss a few blog posts. And that quote…so, so true, I love it! We expect to be something we’re not. I’m going to share this post in my Friday favorites this week with The Blended Blog. 🙂
Thank-you! We all need breaks and we need to not beat ourselves up over crazy unattainable expectations that we set. Happy Weekend!
I know how you feel. I recently took a short break due to being sick, and I didn’t like feeling like I was doing something wrong. I just remembered I needed to feel my best in order to put solid effort into blogging, then I felt better. 🙂
Exactly! I think sometimes breaks are good to give us a nice reality check. 🙂
Thank you for being honest and unapologetic. We need more of that. Today I’m struggling with the difficult parts of my job. I’m a labor and delivery nurse and most days are very happy ones, however, the bad ones and really difficult sometimes. Last night was a rough night at work and I struggle to not take it home with me. I should have been sleeping today, but instead I’ve been up thinking about things. I love my job and the good days always outnumber the bad, but it doesn’t make those bad ones any less rough.
Aw, I’m so sorry to hear that. I can’t imagine how difficult that is to deal with, and kudos to you for all your hard work as a nurse. I hope things get better soon!
I call myself a recovering perfectionist. Right now I am reading blogs instead of finishing my Monday post because I just can’t get it “right.” Ha! Thanks for this.
Lol, happy to help you procrastinate! thanks for reading! 🙂
Very good reminder. I love that you said you’re a “struggling perfectionist”. I am too! Sometimes life’s imperfections can be burdensome. Great perspective and lots of wisdom in this post. 🙂 Hope all evens out soon.
Thank-you. Same to you! Life is meant to be enjoyed and we needn’t sit around worrying about things beyond our control.
I completely agree with you! There are times that no matter what I want to accomplish; it is not going to happen. I love that you are keeping your priorities in line above all. I think breaks are needed, and sometimes cannot be avoided. I do hope things get better soon for you!
Thank-you Erin! I appreciate that.
I so love & needed this. My life is so hectic right now & some days I feel myself forcing a post when I need to know, its totally OK to not do one every day. Its not the end of the world.
Yep. Sometimes we can be our own worst enemy in setting unattainable expectations for ourselves. Giving and showing grace is my new motto. Happy weekend, friend!
never feel bad for leaving this blog to just live life or get through things. i used to feel that way but now i blog when i want to blog. there are days i just dont feel like it and not because anything is happening but because i just don’t feel like it!
i hope everything is ok with the pup and and son.
Thanks for that, Kathy. I’m trying to give myself more grace and not worry so much about things beyond my control. We all can only do so much, ya know? Both are doing well now, thanks!
Such a beautiful post! I too have been struggling trying to be the best in everything I do – being a mom, being a wife, being a daughter, my work, and running my blog. I love your honesty!
Belle | One Awesome Momma
Thanks Belle! Life can be hard sometimes, so learning to give ourselves grace is a must. 🙂
I struggle with this so much. Its so overwhelming when you have a million things to do and are unable to get them done. I’m so glad I found this post. It puts things into perspective that everything will be just fine. Sometimes you just gotta roll with it.
Exactly! Learning to just “roll with it” needs to be my new life motto! lol
I needed this! Earlier today, our dog made one of those I-don’t-have-time-for-this messes. Our master bathroom was destroyed! The dog is still alive and so am I and this world is still spinning. Thanks for the “sister moment” post!
Lol, been there done that. It stinks in the moment but in the grand scheme of things it’s not the end of the world. Learning to not get all bent out of shape over life’s little moments and “messes” is a must. 🙂
Great post and I get it. It’s not easy but it is so worth it when family is involved. Unfortunately, it took a family tragedy to really bring that into perspective for me.
Now, I still struggle with trying to do it all but when I drop a ball or two I remind myself to be easy on myself and focus on what is most important in that moment!
Thank-you! We all need to give ourselves grace and understand that things happen beyond our control.
I dont think you should ever have to apologize for taking a break from blogging because life happens and we all have stuff to deal with. I am all about real life and I used to struggle with trying to be perfect all the time but lately i have had to let it go and give myself some grace. I think we all need to give ourselves some grace. Hope the doggie and kiddo are doing better!
Agreed. We all definitely need to show some grace to ourselves and others. They are both doing great now, thanks! 🙂
I never ever want to hear apologies from bloggers about why they haven’t blogged – honestly, none of us are that important to have to apologize to people for not showing up in a space that’s our own. I do always want to hear about real life as long as it’s not too personal/not suitable for the internet – whether it looks great that day or whether it looks like a pile of crap that day. So kudos for writing this!
Thanks Steph! Your genuineness is inspiring. 🙂
Yes Girl! I put the pressure on myself too, to be the best at everything and to take it all on without asking for help. I’m learning to let it go and live in the moment. Life does happen and we can’t control that so I’m trying to roll with it and let go of my crazy idea of perfection.
Yes! I’m so bad about asking for help too! Glad to know I’m not the only one that struggles with this.
You have always kept it real. Life happens and the blog will be there family and puppies come first.
Thanks Candy. I appreciate that.
I love this! Sometimes I feel so guilty walking away from my blog for a few days or I feel super guilty when I get so busy at work I can’t respond or comment back and it’s not fair to me to put that kind of pressure on myself. Glad you were able to step away and not apologize for it! Life is way more important! <3, Pamela Sequins & Sea Breezes
Thank-you! I think bloggers are especially hard on themselves but it’s honestly so silly. We all have lives and things happen, and learning to not beat yourself up over the inevitable is crucial. Happy weekend, friend!
Oh gosh, this is me in a nutshell. I worry about EVERYTHING and put way too much unnecessary pressure on myself and for what? You’re right. It’s just life.
Exactly! Sometimes I think if we ask ourselves “Will it matter a week from now?” and if the answer is no, we need to realize it doesn’t need to be obsessed over.
I think women are especially hard on ourselves. I never apologize for not blogging – it’s not my job and I do it for me. I’m a perfectionist, too, but we have to give ourselves grace. You’re doing great, friend.
Thank-you for that, and I think you’re right that women are generally harder on themselves because we are supposed to have it “together” on all fronts. In reality, we’re all human and as you said we have to give ourselves grace. 🙂
I’ve been reading a book about not doubting yourself and lifting yourself up every day. One of the points in the book is that we always look to outside sources for approval, we hand all of our power and self-worth to others. Be proud of your life, live in the moment and do what is best for you:)
That’s great advice, Kim! Do you mind sharing what book that is you’re reading? I’d love to check it out!
Great post. I am a perfectionist too. Guess that is where you get it from . Best thing that I have learned to do is take a deep breath and just say to yourself it will get done. If it don’t get done today there is always tomorrow.
Yep. “We’ll cross that bridge…” lol Who always said that?! 🙂
Your Mamaw Beck … Sure do miss her. Love you Cara.
Life happens to me more than I would like, but you’re right, it’s in the attitude we take about it. Acknowledge it and move on. It’s not like we can change the past, right?
Exactly! Choosing to focus our efforts and energies on things that we CAN control instead of the unattainable will make us much happier in the end. 🙂
All. The. Preach. Hands. I know exactly where you’re coming from with this because when I took time off from the blog, I was beating myself up for it…but it’s okay because life does happen and it’s okay to step back when you need to. Thank you for this amazing reminder!
Thanks Kiara! So glad you were able to relate. It’s silly that we get so worked up over something that really isn’t that big of deal in the grand scheme of things. Happy Friday!
Cara- looks like the week off gave a great perspective and something we can all learn from! This week I’m struggling to find a new job after my boss lost his election, so i’m filling in nannying in the meantime which is WAY MORE work than I ever anticipated. haha. And I also have a bad head cold. Now am I going to put any of that on facebook? Nope. 🙂
Thank-you. I hate to hear that about your job, I can imagine that must have been a shock, and yes nannying is definitely work haha. I hope you are able to find something you love and hope you feel better soon! 🙂
Sweetie, I hear you 100%! I too am a struggling perfectionist and when I try so hard to keep everything perfectly together and it’s not that way, it drives me insane! However, it is posts like this that keep me in check and remind me never to apologize when life happens! Beautiful post and so well said with your wonderful words! I hope it is a great week ahead, everyone is happy and healthy and everything goes smooth!
Thanks so much! Glad to know I’m not the only one who struggles with this. Everything has went much better this week, and we’re all happy and healthy, so I definitely cannot complain. 🙂 Have a great weekend!