In today’s post of encouragement I’m sharing why you are not everyone’s cup of tea and why it’s okay. Learning to let go of the need to impress others who don’t like you is one of the most freeing things you can do for self-growth and self-improvement.
Happy Monday friends. Today I’m sharing a subject that has been weighing heavily on my heart to share on the blog for awhile now, and a recent social media conversation further confirmed the need to share this with you. In today’s post I’ll be talking about my experiences in learning why you are not everyone’s cup of tea, and sharing why it’s 100% okay to not be.
You Are Not Everyone’s Cup of Tea- And Why It’s Okay
Like most girls, when I was in school all I wanted was to fit in and to be liked by my other classmates. And despite the well-intended advice we all receive from adults to “be yourself” and “just be nice and people will like you”, I can tell you first-hand it was never quite that simple.
So like other girls my age, I attempted to fit in by buying clothes that the other girls were wearing, fixed my hair and makeup according to the latest trends, and tried my hardest to keep up with whatever it was that all the popular girls and boys were interested in. Never mind the fact that what they were wearing wasn’t really my style (or in my budget) and I had zero interest in half the things they liked.
I wanted so desperately for everyone else to like me that I was literally forcing myself to be something I wasn’t.
Sure at the core center I was still Cara, but because I knew that some people would only like me if I acted or looked a certain way, I sometimes felt the immense pressure to conform.
And while I had plenty of friends throughout school, it didn’t take me long to realize that no amount of cute clothes, common ground, or nice gestures would ever make some people like me.
I didn’t know it then, but I wasn’t their cup of tea.
You Are Not Everyone’s Cup of Tea
Of course what I’m telling you today is nothing new. I think we all could honestly admit that there have been times in our lives that we’ve changed our looks, interests, or behavior in an attempt to make someone like us.
I mean it’s pretty much human nature to want to be liked and accepted by others. And to tell you the truth, I think life would be so much easier if we all could just get along and like each other. (#agirlcandream)
But at the end of the day we unfortunately don’t live in a world full of sparkly unicorns, rainbows, and fairies, and despite our best efforts there will always be people out there who don’t like us.
There will be people who take one quick glance at you and dismiss you from their circle immediately.
There will be those who want you to jump through hoops and run marathons for them, only to drop you like a hot cake when there’s nothing in it for them.
There will be people who will never take the time to see you and appreciate you for the beautiful, amazing person you are.
Don’t waste your time on those people. You are not their cup of tea and they’re not yours.
Related: There’s Nothing Like You
Surround Yourself With Those That Love You
It was insanely hard for my 15-year-old self to ever understand the concept that I wasn’t everyone’s cup of tea, and if I’m being honest it’s something that I’ve struggled with understanding even into my twenties.
But if there’s one thing I’ve learned over the past several years, it’s that life is way too short to spend time worrying about those out there who don’t like you and fixating on the reasons as to why they don’t like you.
You cannot be everyone’s cup of tea and you shouldn’t try to be.
Focus on what it is that makes you happy and surround yourself with those that support you and love you FOR YOU.
Those that go out of there way to make sure you’re okay, and call you up no matter the time of day or night just to check on you. Those who “get you” and embrace your quirks and unique charms. Those who lift you up and make sure you know how amazing of a person you are.
Those are your people and you are theirs. And those are the only ones worthy of your time and attention.
I’m not saying stop being nice to everyone because #kindnessmatters, but stop wasting your time trying to convince everyone to drink your cup of tea, when they don’t even drink tea.
Related: 5 Simple Ways to Empower Other Women
Let Go of the Need to Impress Others
Just the other day I shared a simple outfit photo on social media that a lot of my followers seemed to really like. And as I always do each week, I went to check my analytics and noticed that several people had hidden my photo and even some had unfollowed me after seeing the photo. The photo was nothing controversial- just me wearing an outfit.
A year ago seeing this would have probably upset me and I would have went to my husband asking him if he thought something was wrong with my photo. I’d probably question if my caption came off as offensive or if maybe I should have done this or should have done that. But a. that’s craziness and b. I’m simply not their cup of tea.
Quite literally, I could have posted the most cute video of puppies frolicking in a field of flowers, and there still would have been people out there who wouldn’t have liked it. Because it’s not their cup of tea.
As easy as it would be for me to sit here and ponder on what I did or said to make somebody not like me, it’s 100% counterproductive and not worthy of my time or attention.
Don’t Worry, Be Happy
You see at the end of the day it doesn’t matter why those people hid my photo, why there are people who unfollow me on social media, or why there are people who talk badly about my blog and the content I create. It doesn’t matter why some people outright don’t like me, despite the fact I’ve never gone out of my way to do or say anything negative towards them.
I’m not their cup of tea and they’re not mine.
And I can wholeheartedly say I’m to the point in my life that I’m okay with that. I refuse to keep wasting precious time worrying about it, and if this is something you’ve been struggling with I encourage you to do the same.
Find your people. Be YOU and stop worrying so much about the people who don’t like you.
I don’t know about you, but I’d much rather spend my time and energy on those who love me for me, then waste any more time trying to jump through hoops for people who don’t care and never will.
This week I challenge you to let go of the need to impress anyone around you and to let go of the fear of being yourself. Put yourself out there and those who love you will be right there with you. And those that aren’t, well- they’re not the ones that really mattered to begin with.
If you found today’s post on “You Are Not Everyone’s Cup of Tea” encouraging, please let me know in the comments below! I’d love to hear from you, if you can relate to this topic.
P.S. Don’t forget to share it with a friend. 🙂
As always thanks for stopping by!- Cara